Porn, Erotica and Me.

I remember porn growing up. The internet wasn't as widespread as it is today, but I think growing up, the majority was digital. It wasn't like a pile of playboys under my bed. It was on diskettes and cds, passed nervously from one person to another.

Funny enough, I remember the book that got me interested in sex. It was actually a family medical book, filled with plain descriptions of what you should do. In case of bee sting, in case of burns. In case you were trying to conceive. The medical English was terrible to read, and really, for a 10 year old kid, it was too much. But I learned enough to keep me interested.

Later on, anime was where it's at. All the cool kids watched it. Sailor Moon was huge back in the day. If you went to Chinatown, you can always get the Asian version that didn't have the censorship that the North American ones had. You could totally see where Sailor Moon's curves were. Later on, you also find monsters (girls, of course)  that sucked out the goodness of virtuous children through a black star tattoo, each in a place more risque than the last. Zoesite was a man, being wooed by another man, and Neptune and Uranus weren't cousins, they were in love with each other. Which would be okay even if they were cousins.

I remember my first taste of hentai anime. I did not like it at all. It was made for guys, probably by guys, and it was full of this "I am man. Service me, wench!" That totally pissed me off. For me, sex was like this wonderful experience people shared with each other where all parties enjoyed themselves.  Perhaps it is naïve of me to this so, but to a certain extent, I still feel the same way.

Then I discovered romance novels.

It was like a window opened, and fresh air came rushing in. Stories filled with adventure, sweeping romance, and lines so corny I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face even if I knew it was coming. And underneath it all, a kind of sensibility. It might not be the most accurate portrayal of real life, but it was already leagues ahead of the male dominated variety for me.

One of the things I enjoy most about porn is the (illusion of)  enjoyment of the actors and actresses. There's a sense of acceptance, of "it's okay to do this. You don't have to be ashamed of yourself, your body, or what it's doing. Just relax and enjoy."

That's one of the things that led me to start my naughty tumblr. In real life, it's considered rude to stare. But when it's erotica, it's fine. I think that's one of the purposes of erotica; to celebrate our humanity, out bodies, the way we are.

I admire the way humanity brings itself out, even in the most hardcore of pornography. It could be something as little as how her ponytail caught the flash of the camera, or a guy tripping over the girl in his haste to ejaculate. It could be subtle beauty, or plain hilarity.  The porn stars are beautiful, performing on a pedestal for our pleasure, but these little things bring out how human we all are.